4 Lessons I Learned From My Haters!

Have you engaged in an argument that you knew you shouldn't? Has someone ever brought you so out of character that you didn't even recognize yourself?

I was recently put in a situation where I behaved badly. I felt disrespected, validated and hurt by the person. Instead of ignoring crazy, I became crazy. My first instinct was to defend myself and make them as hurt and embarrassed as I was. Hopefully, I would hurt them so bad, they would leave me alone forever. I succeeded. It felt good to get the upper hand for like 1 split second and then remorse poured over me. 

So, why did I feel so bad afterward?

Why did I still feel hurt, misunderstood and disrespected? 

After exchanging in a vulgar, nasty and immature conversation I learned I was completely wrong and needed some growth myself. In life you will have to coexist with your enemies, people that don't like you, people that see you as competition. Through these challenging relationships I have evolved and matured.

Here is what I learned from my HATERS!

COMPASSION IS THE SOLUTION FOR MEANNESS. 

1. NEVER FIGHT FIRE WITH FIRE. Be the water that exstiguishes the argument, drama, beef! Be the positive force bringing light into the situation. When you choose to be positive, you confuse your hater. They don't understand why you didn't react or engage in their bad behavior. By me engaging in drama and entertaining my hater, I'm still keeping the craziness going. 

2. WAIT TO REACT. If I would have taken 2 minutes to read or think about my word vomit, the conversation probably would have never started, Give yourself time to process your emotions. Reacting in a high-stressed situation is dangerous and can damage relationships permanently. You can never take words back and should always THINK before you SPEAK! I think thats why I love texting when I'm in a debate or heated discussion. It gives me enough time to process theirs comments, my thoughts and respond correctly. The only problem is tone, context and mood is hard to gauge without an emoji. lol

3. ARGUING BACK SHOWS MY FLAWS. When someone outwardly mean, they are inwardly hurting. When you cut them down, your showing your wounds. YIKES!!

This quote hit me like a ton of bricks. Was I acting out of my own insecurities? I'm hindering my own progress by keeping confusion going. Our haters are our BEST teachers and may be on your path of life on purpose. Maybe your compassion, friendly smile, lack of arguing or gentle response may change their heart and teach them how to treat YOU!

4. ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS. I learned that my actions should fight my battles, not my words and emotions---which are flawed anyways. Emotions aren't factual and are charged by our own self-conscience. Hanging up the phone, walking away or removing yourself from the drama is always better than engaging in craziness.  If you don't know what to do. . . . .Ask GOD! Again, I'm not perfect but I do know that the WORD of GOD is truth. 

"Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn . Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. if it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine avenge; I will repay, says the Lord. On the contrary:

 If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. "

(Romans 12: 14-21)

Showing the Love of GOD is Key! 

No judgements.

No requirements.

Just Unconditional Love!

How do you handle your haters?

Have you ever engaged a fool? what happened? 

Leave Your Comments Below!

 

Do You Truly Love Yourself? How Important Is It?

   Most of the time when we are discussing love, we are talking about giving it or receiving it from others. We talk about love interests, friendships and the overall acceptance by others . But, today the focus is YOU. 

I have been on my own journey of self-discovery and ending the negative self-talk I deal with daily. I realized that I was lacking love and compassion for myself. I did an exercise of writing down ALL my negative thoughts and I noticed I wasn't balancing the negative with positive affirmations, positive energy. I had to make a commitment to fill my self-lovemeter tank. 

So, What is Self-Love?

 I'm convinced that if people focused on truly, wholeheartedly loving themselves, hate wouldn't exist.

Hate=Pain     Meanness=Hurt

Hate, nastiness, jealousy, anger towards others is a reflection of how you feel about yourself. Your actions are the illustration of YOU, your core. 

"Make Peace with the Mirror and Watch Your Reflection Change"

Let's start with a simply question, do you truly love yourself? 

Loving yourself is acknowledging your flaws and empowering your strengths. When you love yourself, YOU choose positive experiences, positive people, and attract positive energy. 

Loving yourself is being less concerned with pleasing others and staying true to your calling; your uniqueness.

Loving yourself inside and out means checking that inner dialogue and conversation your having with YOU. If you respect yourself, guard your heart from people who want & can tear you down even YOU. 

Truly loving yourself is not being self-absorbed, selfish or narcissistic. We practice self-love so we can push through struggle, heartache, our friends and families limiting thoughts, our negative environments or dysfunctional home life. Encouraging yourself keeps you ready for any storm, any test!

Why is Loving Yourself Important?

• You will feel better!

• It brings more inner joy and peace.

• You are accepting the "REAL" you!

• You overcome anxiety and stressors in your life!

• You start repelling negative energy and propelling positive energy!

• You will honor your temple MORE! Self-care is another way to practice self-love and renew your mind, body and soul! Here are some ways to Pamper Yourself For $20 or Less. 

• Your kids are healthier and more confident. The ability to love is taught to our kids starting at birth. We must teach self worth, but also display it!

• You exude confidence which will reflect love!

• You will smile MORE! Check Why Your Smile is Your Best Asset.

• When you love and accept "YOU", God will reveal your purpose and you will start walking in your calling. Once you tap into . . . . .Why Your Here ? Doors will start opening. Better relationships, Positions of Power, Love, Wealth, Community Activism. 

  • Remember that the enemy will be in the shadows waiting for the right time to attack. Walk with God and Praise him even in the storm. He is the reason for YOUR calling. Our ultimate purpose is to spread his love and change the world we live in. 

"You Need to Love Yourself. Love Yourself so Much to the Point that Your Energy and Aura Rejects Anyone Who Doesn't Know YOUR WORTH!"

Bill Chapata

Do You Take Time to Practice Self-Love? If so, How do you practice self-love?

If there was a way to make self-love and self-care a routine, would you be interested?

Leave Your Comments Below!!!

 

Thank you for supporting me and reading! 

God Bless!

Christina

SummerTime Fine: LIVING OUT LOUD!→

Summer has officially been here for over a month! Have you taken advantage of the outdoors yet? Have you enjoyed summertime living? It's the time for backyard BBQ's, beach weekends and poolside fun with friends and family.  If you live in Florida like me, summertime is year round. It seems like the water and the freezer section at Publix (a grocery store) is the only place to get relieve from this HEAT.  With summertime living comes less clothing, lighter fabrics and brighter colors which can be intimidating! How are you feeling about your Summer Body? Have you NOT worn a bathing suit in 3 summers because you haven't hit your goal weight? Are you worried people will point out your jiggle or your  stretch marks? 

My Summer Advice:

Forget About Your Summer Dream Body!

Yes, forget it. By the time you're secure enough to put the swimsuit on, Winter is approaching! Stop putting added stress and pressure on yourself about your appearance! The truth is our standards of pretty and what we think looks nice is probably not what others think of us. We are always more critical of ourselves. You have been managing your household, your business. You always last on your list. Decide today that being healthy is the only way to stay happy! Your happiness cannot be dependent of your thighs or your dress size. Plus, look around. Curves are in! 2016 is the perfect year to embrace yourself inside and out. Let me be clear that having the goal to exercise for a healthier body is awesome and recommended. But, when your not living because that goal isn't completed, your sabotaging yourself . 

Use the Summer To

LIVE OUT LOUD!

One of my favorite Summertime Jams. This song reminds me of a family cookout: good food, soul music, ladies gossiping at one table, uncles playing spades at the other and my cousins throwing the football around. 

What is L.O.L?

Living Out Loud is gaining new experiences! 

Living Out Loud is accepting YOU and sharing yourself with the world!

Living Out Loud is stepping out of your comfort zone!

Living Out Loud is finding your balance, your groove!

LIVING OUT LOUD IS YOU DOING YOU!

(within reason guys, lol)

Here are some beautiful women LIVING OUT LOUD!

IG Accounts of Ladies Above: @itsmichellemybelle2 @domyenn @thisfashionfiend @afrodiva

How are you LIVING OUT LOUD

in SUMMER SIXTEEN?

Vacation to Greece?

Finally Wearing that 2 Piece?

Family Reunion? 

Thanks for reading & Your Comments!

How YOU Can Be The Change! #BLACKLIVESMATTER→

My heart is so heavy. I'm sick and tired of these fathers, daughters, community leaders, sons ending their lives as hashtags #. I'm sick and tired of the excuses and irrational conclusions our fellow Americans are forming around the #blacklivesmatter movement. I'm sick and tired of the fear I feel for my 2 black sons to grow up in a nation who thinks they are less than. 

In 2016, we have seen hundreds of black men get executed at the hands of white police officers. Yet not one conviction.  And now we have videotaped acts of hate and still NO justice. Today, I must be apart of change, action and reform. We ALL must be apart of change. 

How can we change things? How can we show #blacklivesmatter?  How do we get legislation changed? How do we get Wall Street, Washington D.C., Hollywood to pay attention?

MONEY IS OUR POWER!

Did you know the Black buying power is expected to reach $1.2 trillion this year, and $1.4 trillion by 2020? (University of Georgia’s Selig Center for Economic Growth)

WOW!!

According to The Atlantic, Black America is the 15th largest economy in the world in terms of Gross Domestic Product. That is the size of Mexico based on the World Bank data. What does this mean? It means companies, entertainers, and other forces outside of the black community want our business and dollars $$, but don't investment into our communities,don't promote causes effecting our community and definitely don't provide jobs for Black people. We must take our power back and support black businesses and other businesses that are invested in finding solutions to this AMERICAN PROBLEM!

(Companies Using their voice: Pandora Internet Radio, Google, Facebook, Chevrolet etc)

Put Your MONEY Where Your MOUTH Is!

List of Black-Owned Businesses & Banks:

Black Owned Business Directory

Black-Owned Banks & Credit Unions

Maya Brown's List of Black Owned Makeup Lines

The Savvy One- Buying Black Owned: 50+ Black Farms, Food or Meat Markets

In this article posted by David Love on Atlanta BlackStar, Dr. Boyce Watkins noted, " we need to harness that wealth. " He stated, " . . . with over $1 trillion {amount blacks are spending}, one can buy: 1,000 NFL teams; 3,000 predominantly white universities; the annual budget of 1.4 million charter schools across the nation; pay the tuition at Howard University for 50 million students for an entire year; buy 854,000 community centers; purchase NBC, ESPN and CBS and still have $1 trillion left over."

We can end unemployment in our own communities by providing a quality product/service, excellent customer service and a sound financial foundation. Let's work together and strengthen our communities. 

Here are some other ways to provoke change in our

local communities across America.

• PRAY. "Jesus 'said to him, 'I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me." (John 14:6, New American Standard) We CAN NOT fully depend on that job, our government officials, our 2 degrees, our family. He shall supply ALL OUR NEEDS! Prayer Works!

• PROTEST. Let's gather in peace and with a plan. Come with your empowering signs, friendly faces and love in your heart.

• SERVE. When we are in places of power, you have more influence on policies and community action.  Example: Jesse Williams made a profound speech at the BET AWARDS that pissed off some people. A petition was started to have him fired from his show Grey's Anatomy where we plays Dr. Jackson Avery. The petition stated that his remarks were racist and was a hate speech against law enforcement and white people. Well, I guess they didn't know who his boss was! The creator and writer of Grey's Anatomy is Shonda Rhimes a BLACK WOMAN and the President of ABC Entertainment, Channing Dungey is also a BLACK WOMAN. Let's not forget Nne Ebong is the Senior Vice President of Drama Development for ABC Studios. #blackgirlsrock

• WRITE. Your words have power. Write letters to your legislators and congress members.

  Sign the Petition to create a federal law enforcement agency that supervises the behavior of all law enforcement agencies (LINK)

• CREATE or PARTICIPATE in community organizations. (LINKS, Inc.,  National Urban League, NAACP, Big Brother, Big Sister, etc.) Get plugged in!

• HAVE THE CONVERSATION. Talk with your friends and family about solutions, feelings, and fears. 

Disclaimer: #BlackLivesMatter is NOT a terrorist group or a group promoting violence. The movement is truly screaming, #blacklivesmattertoo. It was not created to exclude and divide. The media is perpetuating hate by twisting the message to #onlyblacklivesmatter. Don't be fooled! 

I hope this post encourages you to TAKE ACTION! Use these tips to change what has become the norm in our society. It's in our hands to create unity, fairness, and justice for the next generation

How else can we make a change?

Leave your comments/opinions/suggestions below!

#BuyBlack

Love Only!

This post is dedicated to Sandra Bland! Her life tragically ended a year ago today. Rest in Love!

Why Your Smile is Your Best Asset!

For the past week, i have been tested beyond belief. If its not one thing, its another. Right now my baby and I are fighting sickness! Congestion, Coughing, Discomfort! Not fun! When you are sick it is hard to complete even the simplest task let alone with a positive attitude! So, you know what I did ? I watched the Three Stooges (Remake 2012). I laughed so hard! That movie made me reflect, cry and smile! I didn't focus on being sick and I actually started feeling better. 

You may not be sick in body but maybe your spirit is wounded. Maybe your sales at work have decreased or you have lost motivation in general. Are you being the best mom or partner you can be? Do your co workers enjoy your company and respect your opinions? 

MY MOTTO: FAKE IT 'TIL YOU MAKE! 

Your #1 Asset:

Your Smile!

It all goes back to ATTITUDE and how you decide to approach situations. Statistics show that smiling not only provides health benefits but also improves your overall mood.

Let's discuss the benefits of SMILING! 

1. Exudes Confidence. Walking into a room with a genuine smile will catch the eye of everyone! 
2. Makes you more approachable and relatable to others
3. Improves your mood and other peoples mood around you. Nobody wants to be around a debbie downer, whining adult. We all want to be surrounded by positive people and experiences. How do you welcome anything good? With a SMILE!
4. Uses less energy and muscle usage than frowning. Being negative, pouting and complaining is draining and not productive. 
5. Smiling is Contagious! The next time your being interviewed and the interviewer is intimidating and giving their best "Game Face" , SMILE! That will make them uncomfortable and wonder why your so happy. That smile shows a lot about your character and attitude! You may get the job just because you would increase morale and create a friendly work environment. 
6. Reduces Stress and Anxiety. Neurotransmitters in our bodies release a chemical called endorphins. This chemical is responsible for blocking pain and regulating our emotions through interacting with receptors cells found mainly in our brain.When you smile, you send a signal that you're feeling happy (even if your faking). Your heart rate decreases and you become naturally relaxed.  
7. Makes your more attractive! A research sturdy conducted by Orbit Complete discovered that 69% of people find women meow attractive when they smile than when they are wearing makeup. WOW! Check out my point of view of the #NOMakeupChallenge started by Alicia Keys!

SMILE VS. FROWN. IT's YOUR CHOICE!

 Next time your stressed out about balancing worklife and home life or you realize your favorite jeans don't fit, don't stress.  Yes, my jeans are snug and  it still bothers me lol But then I tell myself, "Christina, You just had a baby. Cut yourself a break"! I don't have a melt down.

I JUST SMILE!

What makes you SMILE? 

When is the last time you smiled your way to real happiness?

Can't wait to hear from you guys! Comment Below!

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