Have you engaged in an argument that you knew you shouldn't? Has someone ever brought you so out of character that you didn't even recognize yourself?

I was recently put in a situation where I behaved badly. I felt disrespected, validated and hurt by the person. Instead of ignoring crazy, I became crazy. My first instinct was to defend myself and make them as hurt and embarrassed as I was. Hopefully, I would hurt them so bad, they would leave me alone forever. I succeeded. It felt good to get the upper hand for like 1 split second and then remorse poured over me.

So, why did I feel so bad afterward?

Why did I still feel hurt, misunderstood and disrespected?

After exchanging in a vulgar, nasty and immature conversation I learned I was completely wrong and needed some growth myself. In life you will have to coexist with your enemies, people that don't like you, people that see you as competition. Through these challenging relationships I have evolved and matured.

Here is what I learned from my HATERS!

COMPASSION IS THE SOLUTION FOR MEANNESS.

1. NEVER FIGHT FIRE WITH FIRE. Be the water that exstiguishes the argument, drama, beef! Be the positive force bringing light into the situation. When you choose to be positive, you confuse your hater. They don't understand why you didn't react or engage in their bad behavior. By me engaging in drama and entertaining my hater, I'm still keeping the craziness going.

2. WAIT TO REACT. If I would have taken 2 minutes to read or think about my word vomit, the conversation probably would have never started, Give yourself time to process your emotions. Reacting in a high-stressed situation is dangerous and can damage relationships permanently. You can never take words back and should always THINK before you SPEAK! I think thats why I love texting when I'm in a debate or heated discussion. It gives me enough time to process theirs comments, my thoughts and respond correctly. The only problem is tone, context and mood is hard to gauge without an emoji. lol

3. ARGUING BACK SHOWS MY FLAWS. When someone outwardly mean, they are inwardly hurting. When you cut them down, your showing your wounds. YIKES!!

This quote hit me like a ton of bricks. Was I acting out of my own insecurities? I'm hindering my own progress by keeping confusion going. Our haters are our BEST teachers and may be on your path of life on purpose. Maybe your compassion, friendly smile, lack of arguing or gentle response may change their heart and teach them how to treat YOU!

4. ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS. I learned that my actions should fight my battles, not my words and emotions---which are flawed anyways. Emotions aren't factual and are charged by our own self-conscience. Hanging up the phone, walking away or removing yourself from the drama is always better than engaging in craziness. If you don't know what to do. . . . .Ask GOD! Again, I'm not perfect but I do know that the WORD of GOD is truth.